Dealing With Disagreements While Dating

Have you ever found yourself describing the status of your dating relationship to a friend and you talk about the relationship being very 'serious' with your dating partner?

If your dating relationship is at a point where you can call it serious, you will feel like you are in a 'sweet spot.' But it's highly likely there will be a time when disagreements while dating will arise.

The first step to take toward resolving the issue is to explore what caused the disagreement. The nature of the issue, whether it is big or small, has to be discussed. If an open and honest discussion does not occur, then lingering anger will remain and indirectly lead to other problems and dating relationship disagreements.

Any problems that aren't successfully resolved to the satisfaction of you and your dating partner will eventually affect the relationship in some way. The worst case scenario happens when unresolved issues get to a stage that they threaten the existence of whatever bond has been formed.

How to Resolve Dating Relationship Disagreements

When problems arise, you and your date have to be careful about the attitude you both have, and the behavior you display in dealing with the disagreement issue. Each of you have to 'fight fairly,' which means giving each other room to voice your feelings, to say exactly how you feel about the problem.

While talking about the issue, you and your date have to try to avoid being bitter. That means you both should be very careful about the words you use and your tone. It's very easy during an argument to lose control and allow anger to make you speak hurtful words, or do things out of spite and revenge. Such actions will only prolong the problem and increase the state of disagreement that will be detrimental to your overall dating relationship.

Avoid placing the other on the defense at the outset of the discussion. In other words, don't start a sentence with 'You said...' or 'You did...' -- or anything starting with 'You.' By human nature, use of 'You' right off puts a person on the defense.

Instead, start off by expressing how you feel about whatever the disagreement is about - such as, 'I felt' .. 'It made me feel like' -- This will be heard by the other that you are just saying how their actions affected you and makes one more receptive to hearing what you have to say, rather than feeling blamed because you started off with what they did.

The extent of how challenging the problem is will be evident by whether or not you are still involved in seeing your date. If you both are still going out and are able to do do some things together, then it means there isn't an underlying feeling that the relationship is coming apart.

Instead, you both realize that the issue has to be dealt with, but you also have a strong bond which is important and which you both will work extremely hard to keep.

The difficulty of the problem and to what extent it is affecting your dating relationship can also be indicated by the status of any plans that were previously made. If you both have formed a strong friendship that is highly valued, you will both not want that damaged. So while prior plans may be postponed, there is still the thought that the plans are still in effect after the problem or disagreement at issue is resolved.

If the feeling or outcome is, however, that those plans are dead, so that either or both you have no desire to carry them out anymore, then the disagreement has gotten serious - but not to the point where it can withstand the test of still being intact when a problem arises.

In the latter situation, you both will need to assess how you feel about each other, and if you have something special from your dating relationship that you want to keep and want to grow. If that is the case, then both of you have to focus on each other and what you have, and realize that disagreements and problems are inevitable in life and simply need to be worked out.

By focusing on each other and what you have developed from your dating relationship, you and your date will test the true strength of the bond or friendship that you have. In doing so, you can identify where there is any weakness and work to strengthen it. You also may for the first time truly realize what you both have and develop a deeper appreciation for each other. Consequently, what started off as a bad or adverse situation can eventually serve a big positive purpose.